At this very moment, I’m sitting on the couch, and Josh, my husband, is fully consumed by some violent war movie. He’s currently wearing his long johns with one hand on the remote control and the other hand holding onto his business…like it’s going to run away.
Seriously, Guys…why IN THE WORLD do you ALWAYS HAVE TO HOLD IT?!?! I mean, as far as I know, it can’t detach itself or run away.
Anyways…sorry for the super illustrative picture, but today’s post is one of real life and not some perfectly filtered Instagram life.
This man lying right here beside me is THE BEST THING that’s EVER happened to me. He makes me better, he looks at me with adoration, he loves me so well and he’s truly the most selfless person out of the two of us.
But, he’s not perfect and there’s plenty of days he annoys me, upsets me and messes up. And as an honest disclaimer, it would require an entire post in itself to share about my shortcomings, but that isn’t the point here today.
What I want you to really know is that our marriage isn’t always chocolate, flowers or romantic walks on the beach!
We’re halfway through our 15th year of marriage, and one thing that I’ve learned is that marriage is the ultimate act of servanthood! It requires daily selflessness and being intentional about serving your spouse’s needs. And you guys…it’s not easy, and we work at this daily! Some days we crush marriage and other days are more challenging.
However, the one thing that brings us right back to a sweet and intimate connection is when one of us recognizes the other’s needs. For Josh, it’s sex and quality time. For me, it’s quality time and feeling pursued. And all it takes to pull us back together is for us to serve the other, based on our needs, and honestly…just becoming selfless and willing to serve each other, even when it’s tough.
So, what’s the one thing that I can do to show up and selflessly serve Josh?
I have sex with him. In fact, there’s nothing more intimate or more sacred than enjoying this close connection with my husband…God intended it to be a beautiful gift.
But let me ask…does it catch you off guard to hear that God actually created sex for us to enjoy? If it does, then please hear me loud and clear…
God wants sex back!
In fact, He created it because He wanted to bless us, and He created it to be a sacred part of marriage because He cares so deeply that we aren’t hurt or damaged from giving something so beautiful and sacred to just anyone. There’s also an entire book of the Bible, Song of Solomon, that’s basically a beautiful sex scene, and even the first instruction from God to Adam and Eve was to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” I mean, that’s a whole lotta sex!
I know that the church is quiet about sex and culture is extremely loud about it. It’s such a shame! Statistics have shown that for every 100 hours of sex exposure through media, today’s generation will spend one second learning about sex in the way God intended. So, let’s take sex back from culture and let others see what a beautiful and sacred gift it really is.
Let’s go to war!
Think about it…what if you thought of sex with your spouse as going to war for your marriage? We go to war to protect something that’s precious to us, something we believe in so much that we’re willing to lay down our life for that cause…so why not marriage?
Is your marriage precious?
Is your spouse someone you’d be willing to lay down your life for to protect?
I know that the church talks a lot about the negative sides of sex…porn, infidelity, sex outside of marriage, sex addiction, etc. However, I believe that if you looked at sex as warfare for your marriage, then those things wouldn’t be as much of a concern or temptation.
God gave us a sex drive and gave us this most beautiful, precious and intimate part of marriage because He wants us to have sex with our spouse. So, in honor of our marriages, let’s go to war with our spouse today.
Other than sex, what’s another way you can go to war for your marriage each day? Share in the comments below!
You are absolutely right! I learned so much more about making my marriage work, through the Bible. It has thought me so much on how to serve and love my husband. I enjoy sex more now than ever. We have been married for 22 years started dating at 17, married at 18 and had our first child at 20. Now with 3 beautiful children who are gifts from god and conceived from true love. Definitely our intamacy has connected us on another level, and I now see it as a sacred act of love, that only me and him share. Love this post! Thank you Season! ♥️
Oh man…thank YOU so much for sharing this!!
After 34 years of marriage my husband Paul and I are more in love than ever. Sex is a big part of our marriage and with the introduction of essential oils 2 years ago, we now enjoy each other even more. He is my biggest supporter for my essential oil business. I am truly blessed.
Love this!! Thanks so much for sharing, Susan!
Do you mind sharing the oils?
Hi Jenna – I actually teach a class on how to use essential oils and natural remedies to stimulate your sex drive. I don’t have one scheduled at this moment, but if you keep checking my events page, it will be listed there. Here’s the link: https://www.seasonjohnson.com/events/ Thanks!
Thank you for this! My husband and I have known each other for 38 years, been married for almost 33 years and have 5 amazing children because of our lifetime commitment to one another&our family. Faith&trust was our foundation&the love for our heavenly father was front¢er. I can honestly say I love my husband more today than when I married him. Yes, no marriage is ever all a bed of roses but we both were committed to making it work because we love one another&our family&believe that faith brought us together. Doing things to help us as individuals grow is what makes it work&ability to see each other as vulnerable to making mistakes, accepting we are not perfect&allowing Our faith&foundation to nurture&grow.
Hi Deb – Thank you so much for sharing…love hearing these types of journeys! XO
Well said. And a great perspective that needs to be shared more in churches.
Thank you so much, Julia!
I was married to a man who was obsessed with sex, insisting he get it daily if not MULTIPLE times a day and became angry, resentful and downright mean to me if he didn’t get his way. He cheated on me with a woman he worked with and I divorced him. There is so much more to marriage and intimacy than sex. I am forever scarred by the hell this man put me through.
Hi Jan – Thank you so much for sharing, and I’m so incredibly sorry for all that you have experienced and the pain that it has caused!! It breaks my heart how such a beautiful and intimate gift from God can be abused and misused by man, and I’m sorry for the trauma that you have walked through! Praying for you and for deep healing! XO
There are other ways to enjoy each other. Men naturally think about sex every time you walk by. It is not that women don’t enjoy sex as well. Our schedule is so demanding. If the men help with household shores, their wives will be more happy to feel more sexually aroused. Women are often too tired after dealing with taking care of children, cooking.
Thanks so much for sharing, Marie!
Hi, since I was diagnoised in November of 2017, Ive completly lost my desire for making love to my husband and we’ve only did once to present.. We were ALWAYS ative several times a week prior. Both in our 50’s. The way you said things above in your post is making my brain work some. Am going to try to see if there is some way to fix this, BUT you have any suggestions, please feel feel, they would be welcomed. . THANK YOU
Hi Kathy – Thanks so much for sharing! I’m so glad that you’re encouraged by some of the things that you read here. Here’s another post that might give you some additional things to think about: https://www.seasonjohnson.com/how-eating-more-fat-will-reduce-your-stress-improve-your-libido/ Also, I regularly teach essential oil classes, and I think the topic on how to use essential oils and nutrition to help support your sex drive would be really helpful. I currently don’t have one scheduled for this topic at this moment, but I may be teaching this particular class in May. So, keep checking the “Events” page at the top of the website for the class listing and the registration page. Thanks!
Kelly the Kitchen Kop
You also might consider homeopathy to help with this! Search online for “Joette libido” and read some of her articles that address this issue specifically.
🙂 Thanks for sharing Kelly.
After the loss of our 19 yr old daughter, Carly to childhood cancer our life has changed? it’s been 10 yrs & our sex life disappeared . He drinks now & falls asleep I his recliner. And because of the alcohol sex is the last thing that comes up . If you know what I mean , he’s tired when he gets home from work doesn’t talk much …. life just isn’t the same . We’ve been married 32 yrs & he won’t go to talk to a councilor ?
Oh Kathy, I’m so incredibly sorry for all of your losses!! So, so painful!! Thank you so much for sharing and am praying for you and your husband right now! XO
Love your post! Thank You! I could use some help with what oils may help. I do not enjoy sex but feel so bad for my husband, I have had a lot of past trauma with sex and it is so hard to enjoy.
Hi Susan – I’m so incredibly sorry for the past trauma you experienced and for the pain that it continues to cause you…I hate that so much!! Some great oils to help support emotions and trauma are Frankincense, Melissa, Balance, Cedarwood, Forgive and Peace. You may want to begin using those on a daily basis to help, but if you have additional questions or even more specific signs and symptoms that you would like to address, feel free to email me over at email@example.com.